It's not my fault that the Pope is sending me to hell.

You know, I'm not a very religious man. In fact, I think the world needs a lot less religion and a lot more spirituality. It's a pity more people don't realize there's a difference between the two. But every now and then religion will do something that comes pretty damn close to justifying it's existance.

The Catholic Church has accomplished this with the ever popular "Catholic Schoolgirl Uniform". It doesn't take a hebephile to realize that on the right person the Catholic Schoolgirl Uniform is remarkably hot. There's a Catholic highschool near my house so quite often when I'm out and about I'll see a number of schoolgirls in their uniforms making their way to school. I think the girls realize the power their uniforms have to turn teenage boys into drooling, babbling idiots and make your average middle-aged guy like me feel like a "dirty old man".

I can't think of any other reason why they'd opt to wear those tiny skirts during our cold Canadian winters (since the school does allow the option of slacks for its female students) except to revel in their power over the male of the species.

Today as I walked down the street I came upon a pair of schoolgirls walking ahead of me, seniors at the nearby Catholic school. One was wearing a uniform with a skirt and the other slacks. I could not help but notice that although both were quite attractive the one wearing the skirt seemed to excude an aura of femininity that shadowed her slacks wearing companion.

As if sensing my thoughts the slacks wearing schoolgirl extracted her revenge upon her skirt clad sister by grabbing the back of her skirt and pulling it up... waaaaaaay up. An act which granted upon me a rather lengthy view of a very tight and toned bottom clad in those always adorable white cotton panties. It's an image that I am sure will forever be etched into my mind, for which I am quite greatful.

I was surprised at this sudden and unexpected "free show" but even more so I was surprised by my own reaction to it. I blushed a deep deep crimson. Me. The guy who draws the webcomic about tentacle monsters. Blushed like a... well like a schoolgirl.

I also discovered that there is a certain thrill to surprise schoolgirl ass which perplexed me a bit. I've certainly seen a lot more flesh online and in real life. There are no shortage of "up skirt" fetish sites on the internet and even schoolgirl uniform fetish sites. So it's not like I wasn't seeing something I haven't seen before. There was no great mystery revealed. Finally I realized it's kind of like the difference between finding a $20 bill on the street and getting $20 in your paycheque. They're both money but the found money has the added thrill of it's unexpectedness that makes it seem like a gift. It's a pleasent surprise, and I guess that's what I received today, the gift of schoolgirl ass. So thank you slacks clad schoolgirl, although your feminine charms may be somewhat diminished by your choice of attire I thank you none the less for the gift of ass you so graciously granted this dirty old man.

Of course this lead me to question why it was I suddenly felt like such a dirty old man for having glimpsed the schoolgirl ass. I mean it's not like I asked to see schoolgirl ass. It's definetly not like I just went up and lifted the skirt to help myself to a peak. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time to be witness to schoolgirl ass. And a mighty damned fine ass it was to boot! You could bounce loonies off this ass (loonies are $1 Canadian coins for any foreigners reading this). Still, just having basked in the glory of this fine teenaged ass made me really feel every year of my age and then some. It cuased me to sigh under my breath, "You're going to hell, lad, you know that now, don't you?"

But whose fault is this? The catholic church is supposedly in the business of preventing people from going to hell and yet by creating the catholic schoolgirl uniform they've created an instrument of such amazingly lustful power than no mere hetrosexual male mortal can possibly withstand it's seductive might. Why? Why would they do this? Why?

I think it's all a big conspiracy that probably goes all the way up to the Pope. The Catholic church is purposefully designed to be the sexiest of all the christian religions. Think about all the "nun fetish" websites out there. Take a beautiful women, put her in a nun's habbit and the sexual lure is awe inspiring. She suddenly becomes this icon of purity, innocence, and chastity that makes you feel that you just have to get your cock up inside of it. Your mind races with the thoughts of what that simple, all concealing frock hides, what forbidden pleasures lurk within the depth of its black folds. In many ways it's the complete opposite of the Catholic schoolgirl uniform which reveals and flashes and teases.

Shit, even the boys arn't spared from this sexing up of the church. Look at those young alter boys all tarted up in their billowy, frilly little gowns decked out like some Japanese lolicon fashion idol, kneeling before their priest, mouth agape as they await their holy communion.

Let's face it. The Catholic church wants us to have impure thoughts and it wants us to feel guilty for having them so we'll come back each week to fill the seats and take out place in the confessional lines and to drop our little envelopes into the collection plate.

Hell even the Virgin Mary statues look kind of hot.

We just don't stand a chance against this kind of marketing genius.

Oh well. It was a very nice ass.