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Suicide ain't painless. [Feb. 19th, 2009|11:38 pm]
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So, I'm gonna be in a play. A friend of mine is directing a play and I have agreed to be in it because he desperately needed an accordionist for it. It's a Russian play called "The Suicide" and it's pretty funny dark comedy. I did the first reading tonight not only reading my lines but the lines of another actor who couldn't make it.

I have this to say.

The Russians must be sterilized before they can further inflict their rediculously long names upon the rest of the world.

For the sake of not stumbling through the pronounciations too much I replaced a lot of the names with "you" and "that guy".

I'm going to need a few days just to learn how to pronounce the names.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: doctorscraps
2009-02-20 05:07 am (UTC)

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I hope you guys don't have to do the accents. I did a show where one of the actors played a Russian Ballet instructor, and she kept pulling the Boris Badenov voice and pissed the Director off
[User Picture]From: ghastlycomic
2009-02-20 05:19 am (UTC)

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Thankfully we've been instructed that Russian accents are forbidden in this play.

But the director didn't say we couldn't use another accent. I an I be lively up my lines with a Jamaican accent, mon.
[User Picture]From: doctorscraps
2009-02-20 05:24 am (UTC)

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G-Boss, that is epic. If only I had that sort of gall back when I took to the stage...
[User Picture]From: acelightning
2009-02-20 05:34 am (UTC)

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Names like "Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky", perhaps?

[User Picture]From: tiranna
2009-02-20 05:47 am (UTC)

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I think you're just jealous of our ability to pronounce multiple consonants in a row without blinking or spilling vodka!
[User Picture]From: kowaiyukidono
2009-02-20 08:35 am (UTC)

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I'm not afraid of you, my grandfather was Czech.
[User Picture]From: acelightning
2009-02-20 09:39 am (UTC)

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You may be able to pronounce them without blinking, or spilling vodka, but you can't do it without spitting! (Besides, what kind of crazy language is it that creates a nickname by making a person's name four or five syllables longer? In English, of course, someone named Peter would be familiarly referred to as "Pete". But Pyotr, if you're his really good friend, is "Pyotr Alexeyevich". Sheesh.)

[User Picture]From: tiranna
2009-02-20 03:15 pm (UTC)

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You should be honored to be covered in my spittle. Also, I'd call him "Pet'ka" or "Petrushka" :P``
[User Picture]From: acelightning
2009-02-20 04:03 pm (UTC)

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That's still longer than "Pete", though...

From: sevaa
2009-03-22 08:57 pm (UTC)

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French, actually. Annette is longer than Anne, ne c'est pas?
[User Picture]From: acelightning
2009-03-23 04:50 am (UTC)

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At least the French only add one syllable, as in Annette or Pierrot (and, besides, they're French). A Russian patronymic is at least three extra syllables, and quite possibly five or more.

From: sevaa
2009-03-24 01:56 pm (UTC)

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3 extra letters - maybe, but syllables? Hardly. "-ovich" or "-evich" is the most typical for male names - two syllables, see.

Oh, and the most basic way of making informal names actually shortens the word. Alexandr->Sasha, Nikolay->Kolya, see? Now, if you want to derive affectionate diminutives from those, that would make the word longer, but then again, so does English. Think "-kins" and "-ums" and "honey-bunny-poo-poo".

Also, name-and-patronymic is, actually, a formal way of addressing a person. Chances are, you'll never hear this form used towards yourself until the age of 30 or so, unless you come across an unusually polite professor in college. Sometimes, it's used ironically between friends - I do that with my buddies - but this is ironic usage, so anything goes.
[User Picture]From: acelightning
2009-03-25 01:54 pm (UTC)

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What I meant was that, in addition to the first name of the person being addressed, there's also that person's father's first name plus the two-syllable suffix.

[User Picture]From: bob_chippy
2009-02-20 01:36 pm (UTC)

Russian Names

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I'm a student of Russian and I lived over there and they all use their first and middle names! It's ridiculous! I have to read a lot of novels in English by Russian authors and I keep having to look back at who everyone is as I get so confused with their names! And i've been learning Russian for about 11 years now! Mental!

It does get easier though! Keep at it! xx
From: freepanty
2009-02-21 02:34 am (UTC)

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XD!!! i've sooo done that before when i was acting. if there was a word i couldn't pronounce or a name i didn't know how to say, i'd switch it for something else.

great minds think alike, Uncle G!

speaking of great, when does this magical piece of art become open to the public? i probably won't have the money to travel all the way to Canada (i live in Colorado) but as a fellow actor, i'll do all the superstious good-luck crap XD
[User Picture]From: doctor_vortex
2009-02-21 05:24 pm (UTC)

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If you're playing an accordionist, you definitely have to play the accordion riff from 12 Monkeys. It'd work quite well in a dark comedy.
[User Picture]From: tha_pig
2009-03-01 12:46 am (UTC)

Russian names...

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They should all be named something simple like "Pavel"
[User Picture]From: puberty_rocks
2009-03-02 02:08 am (UTC)

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In Soviet Russia, name pronounces you? Sorry that's all I got.
From: sevaa
2009-03-22 08:58 pm (UTC)

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If this the the play I'm thinking about, then the main character's last name is unusually long even for a Russian.