Ghastly's Ghastly Journal

President Of the Internet

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 21:49:31 GMT

I promise a tentacle in every orifice and two dickgirls in every garage!

Vote For Me!

Superior Helmet

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 00:46:30 GMT

is superior.

I've got my new motorcycle helmet today. If the guy who was President of the USA when you bought your motorcycle helmet is dead, then it miiiiight be a good idea to get yourself a new one no matter how cool the helmet may look. I also decided after seeing a picture of a guy who wiped out without a full face helmet, had his nose, upper pallet, tongue, and lower jaw completely ground off, and survived that full face is the helmet for me. I'm cool with getting killed in a motorcycle accident, I don't like the idea of surviving an accident without a face though.

I didn't think I would like a full face helmet because of my claustrophobia and the difficulty I've experienced every time I've tried to put on or take off a full face helmet. After trying on a modular helmet I realized that wouldn't be an issue. It goes on and off as easy as an open face helmet and if you need your face free it's relatively simple to flip the front end up. Seems like a great compromise for the claustrophobic and large jawed such as myself.

So how was the helmet on the road? Way superior to an open faced helmet. First off it's almost as silent as driving in a car. You don't need to wear earplugs at highway speeds. It's also wonderfully aerodynamic. The wind doesn't push it up and back on your head so it feels like it's going to fly off and your head doesn't whip around when you do shoulder checks. The visor is good in the rain, it has nice vents on it to keep it cool and when it's raining it doesn't feel like someone is trying to sandblast your face. You also don't need to worry about sunburn or windburn on your face. I was very skeptical about a full face helmet but now after wearing one I'm a convert.

And now for something completely different.

I've been working my ass off this past month on a graphic design project for a friend. It hasn't been easy given my current state of mental health but everything is progressing nicely and I'm very excited to be part of this project. My friend is going to be manufacturing an arcade emulator cabinet. I've seen the prototype and was blown away and I've found out the actual production models are going to be even better. This machine is one solid piece of engineering with top notch components all the way. I'm designing the graphics for the marquee and the control panel so here's a little sneak peek.

Here's John doing "big people" work while I annoy the hell out of him while drawing the illustrations for the control panel. When he notices the stress is starting to get to me he asks me "Are you done sucking Blowfeld?"

"One is never done sucking Blowfeld! As soon as you think you've finished sucking as much Blowfeld as a person could possibly suck you discover there's even more Blowfeld needing suckage".

The sucking Blowfeld thing evolved from me yelling out "I suck like Rob Liefeld" while shredding in frustration something I've worked hours on and launching it towards the waste basket. Sometimes you just reach a level of suck where an eraser isn't going to cut it and the only option left is destruction. I think I've finally got the pencils for the control panel done now starts the long, tedious, and infuriatingly frustrating task of inking. God I hate inking. But on the plus side, no more card stock will be flung across the room and I hopefully won't be cursing Rob Liefeld as much. Which will be good, because it really annoys John when I do that.

That other thing that I've discovered annoys John is when you chant "Monkey! Monkey! MONKAAAAAAAAY!" while drawing australopithecines. He also looks at you funny when you make "pew pew pew" sound effects while drawing spacemen.

And in other news. My computer is sucking ass and it looks like I'm going to have to do some work on it. Arrrrgh! Now it's sucking like Rob Liefeld!

These are shorts.

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 04:54:25 GMT

I repeat, these are shorts.

If you wear shorts and they hang down past your knees they are not shorts, they're just baggy capri pants. The best thing about being gay, apart from all the hot and sweaty man sex, is I'm finally free to wear real shorts, shorts that allow your legs to get a nice tan in the summer. I call on all men everywhere, gay or straight to join me in rebellion against ugly baggy shorts and to bare your legs in solidarity. Join the shorts revolution!

Also, my butt.

Red's got a new friend.

Thu, 18 Jun 2009 02:54:04 GMT

We're now a two bike family.

Running Hot.

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 22:25:18 GMT

I've been running the jagged edge of a complete mental breakdown lately and discovering quite a bit about myself in the process. Thankfully I've managed to keep myself well enough that I've been able to stay out of the hospital, I don't know if I'd have made it without John's support. My OCD has really had me picking the flyshit out of the pepper lately. I'd hoped I'd be better by now and I've made incredible progress since my diagnosis but my recent trials by fire have shown me how far I've left to go. I've got about a month of DBT therapy left and then it's two years of cognitive behaviour therapy which is where the real work on treating my OCD will begin. I've recently read the book Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts which is a pretty informative and insightful book on the nature of OCD and what you can do to make living with it easier. I wish I had read this book when I was 5.

Given my age and the severity of my condition there's some concern about how effective the therapy will be but my therapist tells me even if we can get a 40% reduction I'll become an unstoppable force of nature having freed up so much of my mental energy being spent on obsessions and compulsions. It's going to be a long and difficult road but I'm pretty confident that things will get better. It helps to look at how much I've overcome in the time since my diagnosis.

It surprises people to find out that someone as extroverted as I am suffers social anxiety disorder as one always assumes that "the life of the party" is fully confident in social settings. What really surprises people is that someone who is completely fearless on a stage, performing in front of thousands of people is scared shitless in a quiet social setting with only a dozen. My shrink tells me it's not unusual in the least but even I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I don't get stage fright, I get back-stage fright.

I've got a whole list of phobias I struggle with by the two that seem to cripple me the most are agoraphobia (fear of crowds in my case) and angrophobia (fear of getting angry). I've been a shut-in for months on end and constantly seek out any viable excuse to back out of social situations.

I thought I had made progress on this front by going to the Werx regularly to hang out with friends and sing karaoke. I've come to realize lately that my progress wasn't as meaningful as I had hoped. I'd simply replaced one environment I felt safe in (my own home) with another one (the Werx). I'd rarely venture out to any other social environment, especially on my own. The Werx had just become another crutch for me, a place where I thought I was safe and accepted. But I've recently found out that was pretty much a willful illusion and I'm no more accepted there than I really am anywhere else. So I need to move on and start going out to other places. I need to stop using one bar as a crutch.

I've been feeling horribly restless as an artist too. For a musician karaoke is the musical equivalent of masturbation, it's fun but ultimately unsatisfying. I need to start hitting open mics, socializing with fellow musicians again.

I'm so glad I have John on my side. This man loves me like no one else in my life ever has. I've never had such unwavering, unconditional support before. Even though I've been squirrely as all fuck these past few weeks I have no doubt it's his love that has kept me out of the hospital.

Friday at the Pheasant Plucker

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 03:49:45 GMT

This Friday June 5th Science Ninja Big Ten will be rocking it japanadian style at the Pheasant Plucker on Augusta Street here in lovely downtown Hamilton. If you're in the area come be disrespectful to dirt and rock it out with hearts of burning passion. Show starts at 9:00pm

Driving John Crazy.

Sat, 30 May 2009 01:09:33 GMT

So I agreed to do a little graphic design project for a friend of mine who is going to be manufacturing home arcade cabinets so John has been getting to see me do artwork on a regular basis. As a result he's got to see me tear up a lot of paper, swear and toss a lot of design ideas into the trash. He's also gotten to hear my mantra I chant when I'm particularly displeased with the quality of my work. "I'm sucking like Rob Liefeld!" This, of course, meant I had to explain to him who Rob Liefeld was and why an artist who is particularly displeased with his or her work might invoke his name as a curse.

What's cute is John has started to say "You suck Blowfeld!" as an exclamation.

But the good news is, for all the paper I've sent into the circular file fretting over illustration after illustration, design idea after design idea I've finally got a graphic idea that isn't filling me with too much "I suck like Rob Liefeld".

Worlds most expensive Fan-Fic.

Sat, 23 May 2009 23:14:02 GMT

So I just got back from seeing the new Star Trek movie. It was good. Not great, certainly not the best Star Trek movie, but it was a good action flick. If you're a Star Trek fan, especially a fan of ST:TOS your best way to enjoy this flick is to just think of it as an alternate universe completely 100% unrelated to the universe and continuity you grew up with. Just think that universe exists somewhere else intact and this whole thing takes place in some weird alternate universe. If you were a fan of Enterprise but hated how it fucked up the established continuity then you can easily imagine that this Star Trek and Enterprise take place in the same universe.

The movie has plenty of plot holes big enough to fly a Galaxy Class starship through, but then again what Trek movie hasn't. One thing that annoyed me was all the shakey cam and lens flare. Firefly and BSG made the shakey cam work but this film takes it to an absurd level. There are entire scenes where you really have no idea what so ever what the hell is going on because the camera is either shaking or flaring way too much.

Another problem is if it were not for the fact that they're using already well established characters the character development in this film would be very sparse. The biggest flaw with this film is it feels like it's Star Trek written and edited for people who absolutely no attention span. It feels like big budget Fan-Fic.

Now come the spoilers....

Okay, I'm cool with the whole alternate universe thing and all but one thing that sticks in my craw as a person with actual military experience is the complete lack of any sort of military protocol in this universe's Star Fleet.

I'll give them a pass on Kirk being able to complete 4 years of Starfleet training in 3 years. It'll let him graduate with Uhura. I'll give them a pass on calling Cadets to active duty in an emergency where most of Starfleet is elsewhere engaged. But what the fuck was Captain Christopher Pike thinking when he promoted Cadet Kirk to first officer? The Enterprise had a crew of commissioned officers with distinguished careers and yet his best choice as Spock's replacement was an untested cadet with a major discipline problem. C'mon!

And then, at the end of the film after all the adventure is over cadet Kirk is given a commendation and promoted to Captain of the most advanced ship in Starfleet. Really? That was the best choice in all of Starfleet to command their flagship? Okay, granted the kid did some pretty wild stuff and earned his commendation, but to promote a raw cadet past ensign, past Lt. Jr. Grade, past full Lt. past Lt. Commander, past Commander, to the rank of Captain? Give me a fucking break! Every other commissioned officer in Starfleet must be shitting themselves with rage right now. I don't care how kick ass he was in saving the earth there's no way any sane military organization would do anything like that. What, does this alternate universe Starfleet just hand out commands like they were Tim Hortons gift certificates?

Apart from the sheer stupidness of this promotion the new franchise missed a golden opportunity. We all know Kirk is destined to be a captain. This new Star Trek Babies franchise could have shown his career before becoming a captain. I think the franchise could have been better served keeping Pike as captain of the Enterprise and Kirk being given a fast track promotion from raw cadet to full Lt. Subsequent movies could show him being promoted closer and closer to his eventual position of captain.

Apart from this the other thing that left me scratching my head going "huh-wha?" was the whole Cpt. Nero thing. He's just the captain of a simple Romulan mining whip but he's still somehow privy enough to the inner workings of the Romulan High Command to know that Ambassador Spock was involved in the ultimately failed mission to save Romulus (let's not even get into why the Romulan High Command would give this mission to a 200+ year old Vulcan diplomat and not to someone in their own military). This whole plot element seemed paper thin to me and falls apart with any examination.

I also don't see how a civilian mining ship could withstand an attack by a small fleet of military vessels even if they are 100 years younger. Would a modern commercial oil tanker be able to beat the shit out of a WWI era battleship? I don't think so, they seem to be having troubles dealing with a couple of guys with AK-47s in a rowboat fitted with an outboard motor.

Okay, I have to stop thinking about the stupid things in this movie, they just end up getting me really really pissed off at J.J. Abrams.

Like I said, as far as Fan-Fic goes, it was really top notch.

Mmmmm... toady...

Wed, 20 May 2009 18:10:49 GMT

Check out a certain song on a certain Wired celebrity DJ podcast featuring a certain hentai drawing accordionist webcomic artist.

What's this? Scooter is evolving?

Sat, 09 May 2009 20:03:11 GMT

Scooter has evolved into MOTORCYCLE!

And also, my butt.

4 out of 5 dentists...

Wed, 06 May 2009 18:50:51 GMT

... recommend putting some Strident in your mouth.

YES!

Mon, 04 May 2009 06:46:36 GMT

I got carded at the Beer Store on Saturday night! WOO! Between all the compliments I got for my performance on opening night and getting carded the next day this has been the BEST WEEKEND EVAR!

New tank top

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 06:39:41 GMT

My shrink has had me working on my compulsions, particularly my dress compulsion so I've been buying non-black tank tops. This green one is my favorite.

Also, my butt.

Getting close

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:31:58 GMT

Workin' my ass off getting ready.

International Spank Your Maid Month

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 04:57:57 GMT

It's April and you know what that means...

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL SPANK YOUR MAID MONTH! Grab your favorite domestic dress them up in something short and frilly and give them the spanking they've so richly deserved.

I'm looking forward to the celebrations and I must say, my maid outfit this year is cuter than ever.

Yikes!

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:01:44 GMT

Creepiest tentacle monster EVAR!

It's frakking over.

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:59:46 GMT

Just finished watching the Battlestar Galactica finale.

Spoilerifficness after the cut.

The first half was kick ass action. It was cool seeing the old-school cylon warriors on the colony. Although the CGI scenes on board Galactica didn't quite look right. I don't think the shadows the cylons cast were right nor were the reflections on their surfaces. It just looked weird for some reason.

Seeing Galactica take her final beating and make it out of it in well... one piece would be a bit of an over statement.

The one thing I loved about this series is how the ship went from a pristine museum piece (literally) at the start of the series to a battle scarred hulk held together with bailing wire and determination. This is what they should have done on Star Trek Voyager (not that it would have saved that series).

Seeing her final voyage was very teary.

The second half had the feel of the last 15 minutes of Return of the King but it gave pretty good if somewhat clumsy closure. How it all ended on "our" Earth was pretty neat although the anthropology major in me was pretty pissed off because 150kya Homo sapiens had language. Fuck, H. erectus and H. habilis had some language capabilities (not as complex as ours).

Seeing Giaus Baltar become a self actualized man was pretty good. I got choked up when he mentioned he knew how to farm.

Starbuck's goodbye was definitely a little clumsy.

Laura Roslyn's death made me cry like a schoolgirl looking at her first cock.

The very end, in our present time was a nice touch. All the dancing robots was funny yet creepy and ominous at the same time.

Of course the message is clear. We must hunt down and destroy every Aibo now and just to be safe execute all Sony employees.

A little light sleeping matterial.

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 19:39:17 GMT

So I've decided to help John out with his work by using my computer skills to create a database for his parking enforcement contracts. So I'm teaching myself SQL.

Of all the languages I have taken the time to teach myself over the years this one seems to be the most boring.

New shirts

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 02:45:51 GMT

A bold directorial direction

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 04:31:05 GMT

So the other day I had a dream about the play. My friend Brian, who is the director decided to take the play in a bold new direction. My role was changed from beggar musician to a transsexual teenage hooker who is in love with the lead character, Abraham Lincoln reincarnated as a black highschool football star. At the end of the second act my character is eaten by a pack of stray pit bulls and in the third act it catches up to her 17 years later in her next life and she is once again a transsexual teenage hooker who one night meets the much older reincarnated black Abraham Lincoln who is a professional football player who now falls madly in lover with her not realizing that she's the same transsexual teenage hooker he knew in highschool. They have a love scene and her memories of her past life come back to her. At that moment a pack of pit bulls breaks through the hotel window. They perform a song and dance about how transsexual teenage hookers are the tastiest of all meats. Reincarnated black Abraham Lincoln pro-football player fights the pit bulls off, confesses his love for transsexual teenage hooker and and vows to take her away from her life of poverty and hookeriness. There's a big finale song called "I've Got Your Running Back if You'll Be My Tight End" and the two get married.

Somehow the audience didn't clue in that a dark post-revolution Russian comedy rife with poltical commentary on the disillusionment of the Russian masses on the failure of communism to deliver its promises was transformed into a completely surreal transsexual love story.

I was disappointed because I didn't get to play accordion in my revised roll.

Suicide ain't painless.

Fri, 20 Feb 2009 04:44:24 GMT

So, I'm gonna be in a play. A friend of mine is directing a play and I have agreed to be in it because he desperately needed an accordionist for it. It's a Russian play called "The Suicide" and it's pretty funny dark comedy. I did the first reading tonight not only reading my lines but the lines of another actor who couldn't make it.

I have this to say.

The Russians must be sterilized before they can further inflict their rediculously long names upon the rest of the world.

For the sake of not stumbling through the pronounciations too much I replaced a lot of the names with "you" and "that guy".

I'm going to need a few days just to learn how to pronounce the names.

Rain wind and weather

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 03:09:45 GMT

You sure look good in leather. Keep them doggies movin' Rawhide.

Me and my new leather duds and kissing the guy who got them for me. ^_^

Gimp Stick Two: Electric Tentacoo

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 18:02:52 GMT

As you may recall, some heartless bastard stole my gimp stick from me at a party. I was pretty pissed off about this as being the very first thing I had ever carved it meant a great deal to me. But forced to move on I have carved myself a new and muchly improved gimp stick. The new gimp stick is covered in Octopuses, or if you wish to be truly correct octopodes.

If Eddie Izzard ever requires a cane I shall carve one for him covered in bees.

WTF Indeed

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 17:51:50 GMT

Somehow my default picture got changed to a confused looking spaniel captioned WTF?

My Christmas Present

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 22:59:36 GMT

Let me show it to you.